Random Happenings

Lately my blog has become a "threat" to people to behave or they just might end up in one of my blog post.  I'm using this post to give some shout outs and updates on amusing things that have happened!

I'll start out with the story of one of my clients asking me out. I made the mistake of saying maybe after turning him down, mainly because I felt bad and didn't think it through.  I then turned him down a few more times until I finally told him I had a boyfriend and it wouldn't be appropriate.  I do give him some points for being very persistent.  In the past, another AV had this problem and they came up with the solution of putting a picture of Terri's son on her desk.  After it got rather uncomfortable for me, Karen asked if I would like the picture to put on my desk.  I agreed and when Terri told her son that he was being used again, he replied with, "I hope it's a different picture so the clients don't catch on".  I can almost guarantee that they won't.

On Sunday mornings I am fortunate enough to go to a donation based pop up yoga.  One Sunday Ryan and I were going to mass after yoga, so I brought an outfit I could easily change in to in the parking lot and swung by the house to pick Ryan up for mass.  We both had on our tangerine AV polo shirts and we didn't have time to run in to change so we weren't matching.  As Fr. Leon processes in, he winks at us.  During the homily he talks about the year of mercy and says something along the lines of, "...and you will see two young people in salmon colored shirts who are dedicating a year of their life to service.  Actually, can they stand up." and we stand up with our faces bright red and mortified looks.  We have learned our lesson in coordinating wearing the tangerine polo.

Karen and I enjoy riding bikes on the trail during our lunch break.  We often see clients on the trail and one particular day we see one of our clients that we both really like.  We decide we are going to do something big when we pass him on the trail.  I yell, "On your left!" and Karen yells it as well.  We then repeatedly yell, "On your left!", until he pulls over his bike as we are passing him.  He has a very concerned and slightly angry look on his face as we yell, "HI MR. B!" and continue riding.  We haven't see him in the office since that day.

I am very fortunate in finding a Saturday morning running group consisting of two coworkers and their friends.  Running with them is great because I actually get up to do my long runs for training and they pace me well.  The best part of this running group is the coffee afterwards.  It's typically the people who run and anybody else that shows up afterwards.  The group is very fun and lively.  I have learned about a range of things, including what is going on in Ojai, medical talk, about their families, reasons why couples go on separate vacations, plastic surgery, and the attractive woman that sells some sort of slow cooker (I was laughing so hard, I missed some of the details of the story).  I am thankful for this group, especially because they give me a piece of home that I didn't realize I missed so much.  When living in Durham, my parents would invite me over when their friends came over for whatever and I feel I learned the same type of life lessons.

Service to All

It's easier for me to be sympathetic towards most of HELP of Ojai's clients and do my best to show appreciation for what they offer us.  Some have a checkered past and/or are mentally ill, but this has never caused me to feel like I couldn't be kind or has made me question my helping them.

This all changed when a new couple came into our office to sign up for homeless services.  I went through the protocol with the new clients and set up a meeting for the next day.  Like I do for all of our clients, I researched them for arrest records and found that one of them had been arrested for a hate crime and was (possibly still is) a part of a white supremacy gang.  It made me sick to my stomach that I just helped and defended the person to my boss.  This person stands for everything I don't.  This person stands against the foundation of my beliefs and the ones I hold closest to my heart.  This person that believes that hate is greater than love.  How am I supposed to help them at their appointment the next day?

I searched for feedback and looked at the way I treated my clients the rest of the day.  No problem helping them and didn't feel like I was going to break into a speech of love is greater than hate to any of them.  I asked Karen about it and we talked about why we offer our services and reminded me that I don't know the whole story.  There are several years between the conviction and now, so there is a possible change of heart and growth.  This bit of hope is helpful as I continue to process how the meeting will go in the morning.

I called Francis in San Diego because he works with a similar population and ask his advice.  He brings up multiple good points, but the one that sticks with me is I can't unlearn the information. I think about how I treated this human before I knew about the hate crime and gang affiliation.  I know I can treat him with respect and dignity, I did it before and can do it again.

After all of this worry, the couple doesn't show up to their appointment.  I'm angry because of the amount of time I allowed them to take up in my thoughts and conversations.  I'm angry because I was ready to accept their challenge and make their case management work.  I'm angry because I need to believe that people can change and love is always greater than hate.  I found plenty of challenges to face this past week and know that there will be something waiting for me almost every day at HELP. I know that people can change and see struggles that are overcome in other clients.  I know that love is always greater than hate when I look into the community around me and see the people that care for each other through all the circumstances that were given to us this week.