The Sun Will Rise

The final shot falls through the net and my heart stops.  I couldn't speak, I couldn't think, I couldn't do anything.  It was a heartbreaker and I could barely watch the TV as they show the devastated and defeated looks of Paige, Johnson, and the rest of the UNC team.  I loved this team and have the utmost respect for the players and coaches.  It has been a rough few years in Chapel Hill and these boys toughed it out when many wouldn't or didn't.  It was not supposed to end this way for them.  I was supposed to see my team cut down the nets.  I was supposed to see my team smiling ear to ear.  I was supposed to see my team with the last shot on One Shining Moment. My Dad reminded us all that tomorrow the sun will rise.  

The sun will rise in Cary, NC.  The sun will rise in Atlanta, GA.  The sun will rise in Denham Springs, LA.  The sun will rise in Ventura, CA.  These were all the locations my family watched the game.  Far apart, but together through a group text.  A Tar Heel family, born and bred.

It brought me back to Saturdays and Sundays when we watched the games growing up.  In the younger years my Dad letting my sisters and I put barrettes in his hair to see how long he can keep us entertained by the game.  The days when the only acceptable cursing was "Go to hell Duke" at the end of the Carolina fight song.  As we started playing sports, Erin and I would settle in and do our basketball camp homework by pointing out different skills we learned at camp.  Having to have a say in the conversation, one time I looked at my Dad and said, "That's a hooker!".  My Dad looks at me and explains that it's a hook shot, not to be confused with a hooker. A hooker isn't a word I should use.  There was the loss Kasey and I witnessed in the round of 16 in the NCAA tournament while we were on spring break with Mom in Louisiana.  We watched as our team went to the NCAA tournament multiple times and win the championship in 2005 and 2009.  As Adam Lucas points out in his article "Proud", we are so very lucky we have the opportunity to see our team excel so often.  Of course there is the highlight of going to the UNC-Duke game with my Dad and watching UNC win.  (Thanks Mom for letting me enjoy that!).

Wow, what memories to relive.  So many articles reference how close the Carolina family is and this team is just beginning their journey with this family.  I am so glad that I have my own Carolina family and will (in a very long time) look back and remember the day we all watched the UNC-Villanova game together in 4 different states.  When Erin sent the picture of Dad hiding under the blanket.  When Kasey commented about putting on her old jersey.  When Uncle Mark put his own Louisiana spin on Geaux Tar Heels.  When the jokes rolled about Mom being nervous and going to bed before the second half.

The sun did rise today. As I ran along the orange groves, I looked out at the Carolina blue sky covering the California mountains and remembered that it's always a GDTBATH!

Welcome to the Hotel California

In March I had multiple visitors and enjoyed being able to spend time with all of them.  It was interesting to see how community and visitors had an impact on each other and the meaning of living in community come to light.

First, BFF Laura came and spent four days with me.  The highlight of her visit was going to Disneyland and taking in all the princess and magic.  I love that no matter where we are or how long it's been since I've seen her, I can always count on her to do Jamberrys, eat California Pizza Kitchen, and have incredible music for our road trip.

Second, my parents came on St. Patrick's Day.  This also happens to be my Dad and Ryan's birthday.  We packed a lot in during the 5 day visit, so here are a few highlights.  The first event my parents attended was the HELP of Ojai St. Patrick's Day dinner.  I loved that in their usual fashion, they jumped right in to the serving line and made friends with the people around them.  On Saturday we drove to Los Angeles and had breakfast at Homegirl Cafe, one of the industries operated by Fr. Greg Boyle and Homeboy Industries.  If you have a chance to read his book, Tattoos on the Heart, I highly recommend it for a look at gang life and what people can do with a chance.  The food was delicious and we were greeted by one of the friendliest hosts I've ever met.  We spent time talking to the people running the merchandise shop and they told us a lot of what Fr. Greg and the industries do.  These two were also just promoted, so it was a big congratulations to them!  We followed that with a trip to the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels.  It's a beautiful place and I love the tapestries interwoven with saints and people leading up to the alter.  We stopped and did an olive oil tasting on our road trip to the north on the Pacific Coast Highway.  It's interesting to actually be able to taste the difference in the oils and the guy doing the tasting was great.  I enjoyed introducing my family to the people who have impacted me and giving them a chance to see all I get to do with my time out here.  I also loved being able to catch up on the gossip from back home and have the serious conversations of life over breakfast.

While my parents were here, an old coworker also stopped in on a road trip with his two roommates.  It was great to see Joey, although only briefly, to chat about old times and catch up on how each other and mutual friends are doing.  The three of them were kind enough to treat us to Pete's for breakfast.  It was the first time that we had tried Pete's and I definitely recommend it to others in the Ventura area.  Joey and I forgot to take a picture to send back home, so I got creative and photoshopped a picture of the two of us.

During all of these visitors, it was very interesting to see how community life is different from normal roommates and living with family.  The time I spend away from community was time I noticed.  I felt like I needed to be present in both places.  I also felt a difference in the house and feeling out of sort and disconnected.  I've never been this busy out here on my own, it has always been with others.  Trying to explain to my visitors that I don't have to check in, but I should.  I also don't have to include them in anything, but as a community I felt myself finding ways to incorporate them into the visit.  I was also aware about the money I was spending out of pocket.  I stuck to the budget I set for myself, but have become very aware of costs and necessity.

Advocating for Homelessness

One of the reasons these past few months have been really rewarding at HELP is I've seen two people, whom are incredibly difficult to work with because of mental illness, be housed.  My co-worker Whitney has spent countless and a lot of thankless hours with each of these clients and succeeded in getting them both housed in Ventura County.  Although we like to keep Ojai people in Ojai, with our ever persistent housing crisis it's not possible.

In this same time period I have also worked with someone who has become homeless.  We are using "worked with" and homeless as very loose terms because the person is actually taking advantage of an elderly person.  This person was a tenant and stopped paying rent, but continued to live in the home and take advantage of our client.  The almighty Karen kicked her out and HELP subsidized her rent while we helped her find a new roommate.  In order for our client to survive in her home, she has to have a roommate to afford rent.  The new roommate came in, but so did the old one.  Since we were no longer putting money into the client, we didn't have a say as to whether or not the old roommate could stay.  So she stayed for four months, paying no rent and irritating the new roommate.  Our client and the new roommate decided they wanted her gone and could see the bad in the situation, but couldn't kick her out because of their developed friendship.

Every week the old tenant was on the verge of moving out.  Just one more car repair or test or clean out or whatever situation it was.  It got to the point where the client and the roommate were fed up and wanted her gone.  It was intense and I was playing mediator between the three of them.  Everybody was communicating in twos instead of threes.  The two roommates would talk or the client and one of the roommates.  There were rarely three people conversations.  In the end, we helped the client and new roommate by putting them in touch with a person that could help get rid of the old tenant.

Now what do I do?  I just helped a person become homeless, which is what we try hard to prevent.  Karen told me not to worry.  The old roommate is resourceful and recognizes opportunities that nobody else sees.  I didn't believe her and continued to check in on the situation, but of course Karen is right.  The old tenant had bought a new van in two weeks, which she had been almost buying for three months.  She found a place to park and has water and gas hooks up through organizations she works with.  She is a survivor.

Sometimes it's hard to be an advocate when you can see the good and bad in the situation.  I can see the good the old tenant did in the home, but also know how toxic she was.  I can see why our client liked her, but can also see how she manipulated the client.  I can see how the unwanted roommate was a bonding point for our client and the new roommate, but wonder what will happen now she is gone.  This time I was lucky that it became clearer this was not a good situation and all parties were in agreement.